As a boy I feared my adulthood,
Afraid that because I found girls’ brains as arousing as their curves
While football, cars & hip-hop honeys turned me off,
Because I measured success by the length of staying out of trouble
Not the length of my you-know-what,
And wanted children when I was still a child,
I might grow into a woman instead of a man!
Hid this sensitive soul in fleshly armour:
I was black, my beard grew thick,
I was muscular and had a big dick
But I didn’t dick-measure so I thought it was just average!
But not ashamed either.
Didn’t explicitly know why my sex excelled in taking
Excess privileges from those with 2 X chromosomes
But I aimed to right those wrongs exactly. Why
Could that not be the be-all and end-all of masculinity?
Tom smashed 2 birds in 1 stoned night,
Dick got more wifeys than a Chinese emperor,
And Harry’s banging the shawty I’m crushing on in Brazil.
Where was I?
Looking down from on high in my white fortress of chastity
“Knowing” when I find The One
All the piss-takes, weird stares and missed chances will be worth it
And I won’t have a string of STDs or baby mamas following me!
But the same pathway Neisseria meningitidis takes to cause meningitis
My blood-brain barrier was penetrated by the question:
What is manhood?
A satisfying answer took years of introspection
Shifting beliefs is like continental shift
I had to be incontinent,
Ready to surf the Noahic ebbs & flows of
Outdated opinions and untested experiences,
But finally I beached on the shores of a clear sunny conclusion:
It is whatever I want.
Sometimes boastful, sometimes bashful
Sometimes running off my mouth til it’s spent, sometimes saving judgements for a rainy day
Sometimes pleasing your woman with your wonder schlong
All day and all night long,
Sometimes admitting you can’t keep it up!
Ready to fight – figuratively and/or literally
For my people, my family, my friends,
And ready to give up when they won’t do the same,
Taking pride in your good calls, your barking up the wrong trees,
Your running in the totally wrong forest
And even the rare times you did check the map!
Being honest when you don’t need the instructions and when you do,
Going to the doctor’s and still fixing your shit your damn self,
Intelligence to know “Hey, I can leave the toilet seat down!
Hey, I can sit on it!
I can even keep it all in the bowl!”
Being the insecure leader and the ballsy follower
Humble enough to boast you’re not a saint,
Proud enough to confess “Don’t forgive me Father for I have not sinned,”
Having the latest Nissan or Audi or Lamborghini
And the financial smarts to afford
The insurance premiums,
The loan – IF you qualify,
The parking tickets,
The congestion charges
And the driving test!
Accepting you’re a Superman to some,
A Doomsday to others
And to the rest just a figment of the imagination;
If you’re rejected by that pretty woman walking down the street
Your ego don’t have to sink like Titanic.
Life is not a movie.
It’s a series,
Still ongoing so you’d better decide which characters to play.
Characters, plural not singular
Because adaptability is the name of the game