An interesting discovery I made just today (30/9/15)…
I’m a friendly guy, I can chat to anyone: male, female, ‘black’, ‘white’, old, young, etc. I can even hold a basic conversation with non-Anglophones when I want to! This afternoon I was speaking to some of my male friends, and something really struck me.
Men and women speak about completely different things!
Obviously that’s not news, but the contrast between what women talk about & what men talk (or more importantly, don’t talk) about is astounding. To this day, there are two topics I’ve rarely if ever heard men talk about amongst each other:
- Intimate sexual matters
OK, let me explain.
Women discuss details about particular men, past, current and potential. She’ll say what she wants him to do for her (pay for stuff, help around the house, hold good conversations – ironically), why she broke up with an ex (he stole her money, only got with her to stay in the country), how good he was in bed, whether the last one she ogled would be a one-off fuck or a keeper, all of that. Men are more likely to talk about women in general – “I want a good woman (‘good’ usually vaguely defined),” “English women are all gold diggers,” “You have to play games with them to get with them.” Even when he’s in a committed relationship, he’s unlikely to talk very much about his gf/fiancée (wife elicits more vocalisations). More likely he talks about his bits on the side and/or babymamas and/or 1-night stands, whether he has any or not.
Only a few guys I know who’ve gone into depth about this kind of stuff, and it’s always been with me alone. Not in a group of men, not even a small group, just one-on-one.
Then the intimate sexual stuff. Even in public groups most women I know have no qualms talking about periods, ejaculation fluids, the length & girth of men’s dicks and how it made them feel, even whether she was really in the mood or not. Guys, on the other hand, talk about ‘bitches,’ ‘pussy,’ ‘dick,’ wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, and that’s about it. It’s like sex is something to not take seriously or respect, or it’s a round/ match in a game. Why else do guys call it “scoring?”
EXCEPTION: religiously devout guys. Back when I was a muslim I went for iftar dinner with one of my workmates & his friends (all Sasian). One of them, a “good practising brother”, was about to get married. He looked round about his early 20s but whatever. But he had a question: how do you do sex? Another guy, older and more world-wise, used an interesting series of jutsu-like hand movements to depict the inside of a vagina. That truly awestruck me; I was a virgin at the time and I still knew what the inside of a vagina looked like! Islam doesn’t shy away from topics like that; I more or less understood the mechanics of sex since I was 8! That must’ve been some deep sand his head was buried in.
I can’t speak on behalf of all men on Earth, but I reckon it’s because most guys are emotionally stunted. We speak less than women in general. Why? We subconsciously think we have a limit on the amount of stuff we can say so we ration our words across longer periods of time! Sounds weird but this is exactly how I used to think and I know other guys who behave the same.
Emotionally & neurologically developed people converse like this:
Many/most guys speak like this:
However, I must admit that could be age-related. I tend to be around guys my own age whereas women are much more likely to be older. Nevertheless, even from most older guys I speak to I’d be hard-pressed to hear anything about their affection for a particular woman, or what exactly about her he loves.
So two points to make for men in general:
- Don’t be afraid to talk about the one woman you love to other guys.
- Don’t be afraid to talk about sexual matters in depth and non-colloquially.