Ain’t this shit been done already?

Oh my God! Hollywood’s creative heat is well and truly going frigid. All these bloody remakes and fillers coming out over the past several years! I know they have an agenda and propaganda to push, but I’m at a loss to understand what. What good does redoing 80s & 90s classics do for world-wise 21st century audiences?

For clarity’s sake, by fillers I mean films just pushed onto the screens with plots so overused a newborn baby can predict them*. Usually ones that haven’t been seen or done before but can (often does) include remakes and reboots.

* Guy lives normal life, some shit happens to make him become hero, he beats bad guy, gets girl, saves world. And someone’s dad dies/ goes AWOL

underworld-evolution-marcus-kills-father-alexander-derek-jacobi-tony-curran-vampire
Yeah! Cuz having a dad gets in the way of being a real god y’get me?
megan_fox_face_make-up_88826_3840x21601
Oh yeah, and my TMNT dad died ‘n’ stuff too. Watch me cry.

Remakes & reboots:

Tarzan

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Spiderman

Star Wars

Fantastic Four

X-Men

Godzilla

King Kong

Ghostbusters

The Karate Kid

Jurassic World

Warcraft

Superman (every single one made after 1987’s Superman IV: The Quest for Peace)

Batman (every one made after 1997’s Batman & Robin)

batman_beyond_soundtrack
And I’m still waiting for Bruce to go so Terry McGinnis can take centre stage! And what about Robin’s renaming to Nightwing?

The Peanuts Movie (why didn’t they just call it Snoopy like the comics it was based on?)

(apparently they were doing a Titanic sequel but it got scrapped)

titanic-sinking-underwater

yubqpqu

 

Fillers:

Dragonball Z

Pets

The Social Network (seriously, why do we need a movie about Mark Zuckerburg when we can Google him?)

The Theory of Everything (again, we can just Google Stephen Hawking. We don’t need a film on him)

The Martian

Despicable Me

The Hateful Eight

World War Z

The Expendables

Real Steel (I usually hate any show where the protagonist is an inanimate object. The Iron Giant has been the only exception so far)

Chappie (same reason)

Big Hero 6

Zootopia (or is it called Zootropolis?)

Inside Out

Tangled

 

Please note I didn’t say I dislike all these films, or the actors.

zootopia-sloth-trailer-000
I. Could. Have. Finished. Waving. In. The. Time. You. Took . To. Admit. That. Bro.

 

As I’ve been telling my friends for time, Hollywood needs me to hurry up and become the next J.K.Rowling & Denzel Washington. Hollywood is getting raatid boring, and the entire film industry needs to be refreshed with new material!

Unless the purpose this time is to stupefy us with lack of novelty? Maybe that explains the recent upsurge in love of zombie movies

scientists-have-figured-out-the-best-place-to-hide-in-a-zombie-apocalypse
‘Black’ people are more nutritious it seems
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6 thoughts on “Ain’t this shit been done already?”

  1. Point taken, but the new (Christian Bale) Batman series was infinitely better than the 90s joints, and it had more depth (all scenes including Gyllenhaal, obviously, being an exception). Other than that, you’re right: none of those films needed to be made.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah. It’s getting to the point where I know if I’ll like a film or not based on the actors. If I’d known before that Megan Fox would be in TMNT I wouldn’t have watched it. Luckily the CGI turtles were better actors than her.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah do we really need a another Turtle film. And you’re right about Megan. She’s a horrible actress. Extremely over rated in my opinion. But of course white actresses don’t have to be that talented to get steady work.

        Liked by 1 person

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