Tag Archives: child abuse

Poem: Fifty Percent

bad-mother-300x213
Photo from, and poem part-inspired, by http://www.asparkstarts.com/bad-parents-stop-ruining-lives/

Yes I am being a judgmental prick

And I don’t business.

Yes I am trying to offend

And I don’t business.

Yes I will make enemies when I don’t really need to

And I don’t business.

This is CPR to the lungs

Of cold hard lifeless facts,

Shining light on my ears’ visions,

Stringing vocal chords to the windpipes

Of what my eyes scream at me.

Wish it weren’t true

But

FIFTY PERCENT OF ALL HUMANS SHOULD NOT BE PARENTS,

INCLUDING MOST OF THOSE WHO ALREADY ARE.

Yes please point out

“You don’t have children.”

Yes please ask

“What right do you have to judge my parenting?”

I could counter by pointing out

I was a child

And I had parents.

What I will do is get to the point:

If you:

  • Let them hear you say “I love you”
  • And “I’m proud of you”,
  • Allow them to play and laugh,
  • Encourage their questions and try to answer,
  • Want them to do better than you
  • In whatever they choose to do,
  • Are willing to teach them about sex
  • Before school, media & porn do,
  • Tell them what they’re doing right as well as wrong,
  • Get involved in their passions & dreams,
  • Make up for when you let them down
  • (Because let’s face it: no-one’s perfect),
  • Teach them how to defend themselves from bullies,
  • Give them a happy childhood
  • So they can have a happy adulthood,

This criticism does not apply.

You are safe.

If you:

  • Blame your newborn daughter for stealing your man,
  • Ignore your crying baby so it can learn independence,
  • Find breastfeeding shameful in public and in private,
  • Had kids just because your parents wanted grandchildren,
  • Or your culture or religion said that’s your duty,
  • Or your friends are having them,
  • Or had them against your will,
  • Disown your kids for not following the god you believe in,
  • Believe they’re born in sin,
  • Believe their genitals need ‘reshaping’,
  • Teach your daughter to shut up and take it,
  • Say a child who was disowned or beaten or raped by a parent
  • Was being difficult or needs to understand the parent’s point of view,
  • Smoke, drink or do drugs during pregnancy,
  • Walk out on them because you didn’t get on with the ex,
  • Think it’s the school’s job to teach them not yours,
  • Think more expensive schools = better education
  • Or money & gifts make up for your absence,
  • Beat your kid for speaking to elders or looking them in the eye,
  • Beat them to toughen them up,
  • Would rescue your baby from a building on fire
  • And leave someone else’s to burn,
  • Have kids with someone of a different background
  • So they don’t look too much like you,
  • Think boys should be dominant and girls dominated,
  • Would terminate a foetus on account of its sex,
  • Let them learn about sex from school, media & porn first,
  • Think your son acts unmanly
  • Or your daughter acts unfeminine,
  • Would kill them to protect your honour,

You are a shit parent.

Yes I am condemning

And I did warn you.

Yes I am naming and shaming

And I did warn you.

Yes I am inviting you to hate the fuck out of me

But before you do that

Check yourselves.

What are you guilty of?

What are you guilty of?

What are you guilty of?

 

© One Tawny Stranger, May 2016

They condone child rape!

Inspired by a conversation I had with a Pakistani muslim guy just this afternoon (22/7/2015).

This guy has known me for a little while now, and most times he meets me he wants to “guide me back to the right path”. In other words, revert to slavery to Allah. After discussing the topic of Allah, the existence of Satan, the Qur’an, etc. we came to Muhammad. He described Muhammad as the perfect man, to which I said, “A man who had sex with a 9 year old girl is the perfect man?”

He replied, rather emphatically, “Yes!”

That was it. I refused to continue the talk, as he had openly said paedophilia was good because Muhammad had done it. Because I was walking away, he tried to frame it as if I was cowering away from the truth in haughty arrogance. I replied that I was walking because I find people who condone child rape disgusting.

In case anyone doesn’t know that story, the ahadiyth mention that Muhammad’s 3rd wife A’ishah was 6 years old at the time of the betrothal and 9 when he consummated it. He was about 53. However, one scholarly opinion reckons she was 10 not 6. She’s often lauded as a fantastic narrator of Muhammad’s life and a “Mother of the Believers”, as if being married at 6 was only a detail for historical interest but ultimately of no importance.

Nowadays muslimiyn excuse it by claiming shit like:

  • Girls mature faster than boys so she was physiologically an adult (EVEN IF that were true, he was in his fifties),
  • People reach puberty faster in hot climates so she was physiologically an adult (bollocks. Climate doesn’t affect onset of puberty – in fact, puberty before the age of 10 is nowadays considered a health risk),
  • We can’t judge actions done in the past by the standards of the present. That’s anachronism (but wait. Islam is meant to be the standard for all humanity to follow in all times & all places),
  • This was the prophet of Allah, the perfect example for all of humanity to follow, so everything he did was right. He never committed sins, he never did anything against the commands of Allah, so how dare you criticise him?
Astagfirullah!

That reminded me: my mum had done exactly the same thing. Last year when I was debating with her about Islam, she said she doesn’t care that Muhammad had sex with A’ishah.

Yes, my mother said that.

This goes to show something really profound: people are willing to defend anything if it’s associated with what they believe in. As I had said before, Islam stands for anything muslims want – misogyny & sexual equality, racism & anti-racism, war & peace, slavery & emancipation, etc. Add child rape to the list.

I know this is not a rare opinion. The vast majority of muslims believe this, even if they don’t like it. However, when pressed on the issue (like I did to my mum) they have this thought process:

  • I know this is true. That would make him (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) a paedophile,
  • But he’s the sinless one and Allah’s last prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). I cannot badmouth him otherwise I’ll no longer be muslim and I’ll go to hell,
  • Therefore my opinion on paedophilia doesn’t matter. I must defend the prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) at all costs!

Then there are others who honestly see child marriage as good. Usually because they’re paedophiles who either have their own child brides or would if they could.

I know not all muslimiyn are comfortable with this. Some argue that those ahadiyth are wrong and A’ishah was either midway through or finished puberty when she married Muhammad. As much as I used to want to believe them, they rely on raising doubts about ahadiyth (not that they’re ever completely trustworthy) and linking snippets of indirect facts that don’t give a definitive number. So I’m sorry, but the evidence points massively in favour of the conclusion:

“Prophet” Muhammad was a child rapist.

And many/ most muslims are willing to condone that to defend his religion.

Motherly Hate/ Love

Two young mothers.

Nisansala broke her virginity at 25

With the man she crowned her king bee,

She took him inside her warm throbbing hive walls,

He buzzed with animal excitement,

She & he serenaded away,

Foreplayed their way

To on top, underneath, on top, underneath each other

Spinning into a new orbit above the Earth’s atmosphere.

She stained the moon yellow with her sweet sticky juices,

That’s why it’s called a honeymoon.

Nicola’s virginity was broken at 16

By the man her parents wanted as her lawful wedded,

Slicking the bedsheets crimson

As he appointed himself to missionary,

She froze in position,

He charged in with red flag waving,

She mutilated the alarm bells in her head.

Two minutes later

She raised the blood-white flag to signal surrender.

It wasn’t rape because he didn’t consent either,

Fulfilling God’s command to go forth and multiply

Is a necessary evil

– he reminds her to remind herself.

When Nisansala had her daughter

She taught her to know her place –

Not just the kitchen but the whole house,

Not just the house but the whole planet,

Not just the planet but the whole universe

– And beyond if it couldn’t house her greatness.

Her son’s masculinity was only under threat

When his classmates called him and his sister freaks.

He thought it common sense that

Girls had brains,

Boys had beauty,

Women were rational

And men were emotional!

They both had a strong drive

So Nisansala nitro fuelled their mental engines,

Smashed out red & amber so the lights would stay green

To turn misogyny into roadkill

On the race to a sexually equal future.

When Nicola looked at her daughter for the first time

She saw Genesis on replay,

A soul as crooked as a rib sending humanity straight to Hell.

She prayed for permission to sacrifice her only begotten son

So that all may be saved

Yet her Lord had said “Thou shalt not kill”

So maternity was Nicola’s cross to bear.

To other wives and mothers she was a martyr,

To her children’s emotional needs, she was just a breathing corpse.

The daughter was taught to quarantine herself from the contagion of a man’s touch

Yet submit to The Father’s will when he breached her.

Each day the son failed to find his mother’s soul

He scored a new line onto his wrists

And when there were too many failed attempts to keep score of

He thought it’s time to aim a bit higher.

aim a bit hgher

Poem: MOTHER OF WAR

Kill. Maim. Torture. Mutilate. Traumatise.

All in the Name of She, that Mother with infinite names because she is known

In all ages in all world cultures.

Today we’d say she’s a child-abuser, unfit to bear children let alone raise them,

A bloodthirsting cannibal who should’ve been aborted in her mother’s womb

But in all of history she is known as Goddess.

And now she, the insatiable, demands to be satiated again.

Like a banshee on the loudspeaker she screams, “I fed you the liquid of my breasts

So you owe me the liquid of the veins, of the brow and of the eyes.

You owe me life, and I don’t care if it’s your enemies’ or yours or both.

I WILL HAVE IT!”

As a spirit intoxicating and haunting her children’s memory banks she prompts them

To relive and replicate the motherly hate she downpoured on them,

To prove how much they love her eve if they’d gladly slit her throat with a rusty chainsaw,

To defend the Mother-land.

Life is her right, death is her other right, and suffering is the very centre of her being.

By guns or tanks or A-bombs or even swords and fists like in olden days

She will exercise her rights. She is the battlefield,

She is the colonels, lieutenants, presidents & prime ministers strategising

Where and how to wage the next mutually destructive war,

She is the throngs of civilian witness egging their boys on to fight or die for them.

For her.

Anywhere in the world someone has blood on their hands she licks it clean for them,

And American government fingers are especially finger-licking good.

When she demands the liquid of the veins, her children’s injuries scar over – acute and chronic alike,

And with semi-devotion they raise their arms to give Mother what she needs

Yet again.

© One Tawny Stranger 2014

More insights into misogyny, genitals and general gender relations

A partial continuation of my earlier post on misogynyBased mainly on Tom Hickman’s God’s Doodle: The Life and Times of The Penis, ISBN 9780224095532, and various articles from PsychoHistory

 

I’d always heard misogyny was based on hatred and/ or fear of women. I admit, though I never denied the existence or extent of misogyny, I was sceptical of the hatred part and outright didn’t believe the fear part. I’d never heard of a man who was genuinely afraid of women, I’d always thought it was only about power & wanting to keep it. However, upon reading Hickman’s book I’m just caught between…

 

    

    and…      

  

 

Throughout history men have displayed some WEIRD attitudes and beliefs, not just toward women and the vagina, but even toward their own dicks! No bloody wonder misogyny’s so rampant, and no wonder ignorance of female A&P (anatomy & physiology) went on so long!

 

First, some hilarious and crazy beliefs relating to the genitals (mostly male):

  • In ancient Assyria, it was law that if a woman got into a fight with a man and crushed one of his balls, she’d be punished by having a finger cut off! If she crushed both balls, the punishment was to have both her breasts ripped off
  • Ironically, while the Bible says that if a man’s balls are wounded or his ‘privy member’ removed he won’t go to heaven (Deuteronomy 23:1), Christian men throughout history have been castrating themselves for the sake of God. Examples include the 3rd-century theologian Origen of Alexandria, and a secret sect in 18th-century Russia called the Skoptsy*. In fact, self-castration seems to have originally been part of Christianity and the state of being a eunuch was something of a spiritual ideal, according to Kuelfer

* The Skoptsy are also known for their women cutting off their breasts for the same purpose: they believed sexual lust was a sin. 

  • During the Renaissance, women were afraid that stretching their legs too far or doing vigorous exercise would turn them into men. 
  • Also during the Renaissance, it was believed that all foetuses were originally supposed to be male. Any that were born female had failed to achieve masculine perfection; their bodies didn’t generate enough heat to “thrust” the genitals outward. That came from the ancient Greek physician Galen, who called female genitals mutilated but just guessed God must have had some purpose for that. 

Even now I still can’t work out what that purpose is…

  • In 1993, a woman in Beijing castrated her husband because a fortune teller told her his ‘inadequate’ penis was the cause of their relationship problems. She didn’t do it out of hate, she simply thought it would grow back bigger and better. 
  • In ancient Japan there was a legend of a demon who hid inside a woman’s vagina and bit off her husbands’ dicks. She asked a blacksmith for help so he built a metal penis that the demon broke its teeth on. To this day, that metal penis is remembered in the Shinto festival Kanamara Matsuri. 
  • According to his biographer James H. Jones, Alfred Kinsey (yes, that Kinsey) was well-known for whipping out his bits in front of his staff just because he was so proud of their size – dick and balls. He even used them for his anatomy lessons and demonstrated his personal masturbation techniques. 

I wonder if Granny needs to be shown where the glans is…

On a more serious note, it’s quite possible that misogyny in some instances is a reaction to mother-mediated abuse, similar to post-traumatic slave syndrome or post-traumatic stress disorder. PsychoHistory has a lot to say on the relative ubiquity of child abuse & incest and the somewhat-archetypal killer mother/goddess figure, especially during war. Ironically, while children grow up with negative emotions toward their mothers because of all the abuse (including being used as or sold off to be sex slaves), they still want their attention and approval, even to the extent of dying to defend her from make-believe enemies. Hence war and the concept of “motherland”. 

 

It’s fairly clear that throughout much of (Christian European?) history children were ignored/ abandoned by their fathers and hated by their mothers. Yes that’s right, hated. Women were made to feel their purpose was to just be daughters then wives and mothers and nothing else, and children were yet another encroachment on their energy reserves. Not to mention how few rights women had (ie. it’s likely the children were products of rape), as well as the belief in inherited sin, so children were effectively born to be punished. I’m not claiming that’s the be-all-and-end-all of misogyny, I’m just suggesting it’s a possible factor in some cases.

 

OK, I’m ending this post here. If I don’t I’ll go on for ages! Just a few more weird & funny facts to lighten the mood…

 

  • Throughout history men have feared (yes, feared) women with high sex drives, as if their vulvas were insatiable beasts that would literally eat them alive! Women’s bodies were magical & mysterious enough with periods and pregnancy and whatnot;  why have such strong appetites too? In Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley, Mellors described sleeping with his wife as like having a bird’s beak ripping at him! 
  • Contrary to what people may think, boys can have erections before they’re even born! It happens so often, in fact, that back when he was an obstetrician the sexologist William Masters set himself the challenge of cutting the umbilical cord before the erections happened! 

Why are you telling people I used to be an obstetrician?

  • Ancient Chinese emperors were required to have 121 women in their harems (1 empress, 3 senior consorts, 9 wives, 27 concubines & 81 slaves) – and have sex with all of them over a course of 15 nights! And yes, there was a secretary keeping count! Which meant they had to have damn good self-restraint with climaxing! Why 121? Because they believed it had magic properties and were obsessed with numerical & calendrical order, which meant there was a specific order to sleep with them in: 

Night 1 – empress

Night 2 – all 3 senior consorts

Night 3 – all 9 wives

Night 4 – 9 of the 27 concubines

Night 5 – another 9 concubines

Night 6 – the last 9 concubines

Night 7 – 9 of the 81 slaves

Night 8 – another 9 slaves

Night 9 – another 9 slaves

Night 10 – another 9 slaves

Night 11 – another 9 slaves

Night 12 – another 9 slaves

Night 13 – another 9 slaves

Night 14 – another 9 slaves

Night 15 – the last 9 slaves

(note: The higher-ranking women would be serviced nearer the full moon, when his yang and their yin were strongest)

 

WTF?!?